


Never Enough

by CuriousThimble



Series: Cold Hands, Warm Heart [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Break Up, F/M, Mistress, post landsmeet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 09:29:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16238846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuriousThimble/pseuds/CuriousThimble
Summary: Evette chooses to put the love of her life on the throne, but it comes with the price of marriage to Anora. When Alistair confronts her later, walls form between them.





	Never Enough

####  **Never Enough**

“Alistair and Anora will rule together,” Evette says slowly, her words ringing in the silence. 

 

Alistair glares at her, as if he’d expected her to forget the arrangement she’d made with them. “If that’s what you think is best,” he grumbles.

 

Evette nods and walks out of the Landsmeet calmly, leaving everyone behind her.  _ Maker forgive me, _ she thinks, fighting back tears.  _ I had to do it. Ferelden needs him, and he’s going to need her. _

 

_ I hope he loves her. I want him to forget me. _

 

“That was a very brave thing you did.”

 

Evette doesn’t look at her friend as Leliana comes alongside her. She’s afraid if she moves any more than required to walk, she’ll break into a thousand pieces. “Was it?”

 

“You’ve been in love with one another a long time,” Leliana says with a nod. “And you made a difficult decision that will ultimately be best for your country.”

 

“Well, it isn’t as if we could be married anyway,” Evette says, taking a deep breath. “Do you think he’ll forgive me?”

 

“Maybe. He asked me to tell you to meet him in his room tonight, he wants to talk.”

 

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

 

“It might be the last chance you get, Vettel,” her friend warns. “I suggest you take it.”

 

It’s late when she makes her way to his room, fortified by a strong drink. He’s pacing when she enters, and she sees his possessions scattered around- evidence of his trying to busy himself until she arrived. 

 

“Alistair,” she says, and he turns to look at her. “You asked for me?”

 

“I figured it out. How you can stay,” he blurts out, coming over and taking her hands. “Be my mistress.”

 

“What?” she asks, brows high. “Your  _ mistress?” _

 

“Yes,” he says excitedly, lacing their fingers together. “I’ve got to marry and produce an heir, you know that. And Anora really is the best choice for queen, but this way you won't be a...complication. We’ll have to be discreet, of course, but this way you can stay here, with me.” 

 

His face is so hopeful it breaks his heart.  _ Forgive me, my love, _ she thinks sadly.  _ What I do, I do for you. _

 

“Alistair,” she says, looking down at their linked fingers. “We  _ can't. _ You’re the king, and I’m...nothing.”

 

“Vette, you’re everything.”

 

“I’m a mage.”

 

“A mage with noble blood,” he argues. “No one will think anything of the Grey Warden noble being an advisor to the king.”

 

“No!” she snaps. “My blood was erased the moment I walked through the doors of the Tower. My name means nothing in the face of my power.”

 

“As king I could change that,” he says, pressing his forehead to hers. “Please, Vette. Please, just deal with this a little while, and we’ll find a way around it, I swear.”

 

_ Forgive me. _

 

She can feel her skin grow cold, and she draws her hands from his. “No, Alistair.” 

 

“What is this?” he asks, grabbing her hand and putting it against his face. “Why are you growing cold again?”

 

“Alistair, stop-”

 

“Vette, you love me, don’t you?”

 

“Yes,” she whispers. “Yes, I love you. But I won’t stand in your way. With me as your mistress, Anora will make your life miserable. Cailan wasn’t true to her, and I can’t let you take the punishment for his mistakes. The nobles will never allow you to free the Circle. I would only hurt your reign.”

 

“No, I would-”

 

_ I’m going to have to break his heart, _ she realizes.  _ And my own. _

 

“It wouldn’t be  _ enough _ ,” she says sharply, hardening her heart against him. “Being your mistress- it would never be enough. It would never be a  _ life _ , and I would hate it. I would hate  _ you _ for it.”

 

Alistair clenches his jaw. “So that’s it? We have sex, and now it’s over.”

 

“You know that isn’t how it was.”

 

“Stay,” he pleads softly. “Stay with me.”

 

Evette raises on her toes and places a chaste, frozen kiss on his lips, so cold it numbed him before he could feel it. “No.”

 

“What about everything we’ve been to each other? What we had together? Can’t we at least be friends?” he pleads.

 

Evette shakes her head. “What we had was a dream, and it’s time to wake up now. After the archdemon is defeated, you and I part ways forever.”

 

“Vette, that isn’t fair,” he says, swinging from desperation to anger.

 

“ _ Nothing _ is fair, Your Majesty,” she says scathingly. “So go marry the Queen and see if you can change any of it.”


End file.
